Don't tell a disappointed child that his ability is just as good as everyone else's. Good grades result in self-esteem, self-esteem does not produce good grades.ġ. Note the difference between causation and correlation. Studies have been done over generations now, and this recent trend of puffery has not been effective. Artificial means ("we are all special," a trophy for everyone who participates in soccer, etc.) are not effective. Self-esteem is the by-product of doing well. They develop theories of what they can do to turn failure into success.the underpinnings of basic optimism. At school age, the way the child thinks- especially about failure-is critical. Children make a habit of persisting in the face of challenges and overcoming obstacles. "Masterful action is the crucible in which optimism is forged" (at pre-school age). The clearer the rules and limits parents set, the higher the child's self-esteem. I just found my notes on this book, so I will add them here: At this point in time, I can certainly vouch for some of it given our family's experience thus far. I was surprised at the feelings of inspiration in really pondering and recognizing that there are very real and positive consequences associated with his research and recommendations. ![]() It's on my bedstand and I've made a mental note to review some of the key sections every 6 months or so.Īs I finished the book I was amazed at how touched I felt with Seligman's conclusion and it was a real motivation for me. So in the end, I think the timing for me in reading this book was perfect for my two older kids (8, 10). I didn't adopt the entire program, not even close, but kept it rather simple with this first go around. I actively brought up principles and behaviors, in subtle ways and sometimes not-so-subtle ways, as I attempted to help shape their mental patterns in dealing with problem scenarios. So, that being said, I felt confident in the "toolbox" from the book as I worked through the assessments (I typed up the assessments into Google docs, message me if you want the link) with my two oldest children. One of the great benefits of the material in this book is the breadth of ages and personality/learning styles that it targets (IMO). I've used what I've learned so much, and not just with my kids, but with myself as well. I think his critique of the term "optimism" is well-founded and that we really can affect our kids/youth, along with ourselves, to be more actively engaged in pursuing positive outcomes and avoiding depressionistic cycles through deliberate and consistent cognitive thinking patterns.Īs a parent, I believe this book to be darn-near invaluable. I loved Sligman's perspective, the informative research, the detailed practices, methodology and the curriculum he and his team crafted. Given that it's been several months since my initial reading and I've had time to really think about the overall book, it's time to just spit out my thoughts. Second, I've avoided writing a review because I've felt it to be a daunting task. I wanted to examine my own behavior, give my kids the assessment, and then observe and implement some simple practices outlined in the book. ![]() ![]() First, because I wanted to try out what I learned. I've avoided writing my review on this for a couple of reasons.
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